How To Strike It Rich: Get In A Car Accident

How To Strike It Rich: Get In A Car Accident

This guy’s gonna be so rich! CA$H MONEY!

Many people play the lottery in hopes of winning the big jackpot, or even a couple thousand dollars to help fix whatever financial mess they’ve gotten themselves in to. Heck, I’ve even sat around and dreamed about the possibilities of what I would do if I won the lottery. But I never knew there was so much money out there for the taking! Insurance companies make so much money it’s falling out of their pockets. They don’t really know what to do with it, so they just end up throwing it at car accidents for some reason. Here’s how you can profit:

Get Hurt Really, Really Bad

I’m talking REALLY bad. Make sure the vehicle you are riding passenger seat in is going at least 120 MPH, and the driver is a dumb 18-year old who should even be allowed to ride a tricycle. Then, make sure when he tries to cut someone off, he swerves and over-corrects his vehicle up an embankment, and then flips the car 6 times (or so). If you want to make out big, make sure the car lands on its roof every time it flips over and crushes your spine with such pressure that your bones explode in your neck.

Or something like that. Either way, you are entitled to whatever PIP (Personal Injury Protection) policy the driver has if it’s not your fault. Most people have at least $100,000 of PIP coverage, sometimes more. You are going to need a good lawyer who gets 30% of the cut, but no big deal, you’re still making out like a bandit with your cash money! I mean, sure, you have a broken neck, 3-6 months of recovery and metal in your spine for life, it hurts when it’s cold out and you get sore when doing any physical labor for any amount of time, but at least you have your tens of thousands to comfort you when you can’t sleep. Ya ‘know, unless you blew all the money. Then it sucks…

Make Sure It’s Not Your Fault

The key to any accident is to make sure that you are not to blame. Also, drive a crappy car. If it’s no one’s fault, then you cannot profit. You need to make sure the accident is at least 51% the other person’s fault. For example, I hit a bicyclist a few years back. Now, it was definitely not my fault. I was going through a green light and he literally rode his bike into the side of my car. Luckily, he jumped off in time, but his bike peg popped my tire. Now, I won’t get into the details of how his (possibly homeless?) family was nearby, threatened me if I didn’t give them cash, and then punched me in the face.  I will tell you that no one stopped as a witness to confirm it wasn’t my fault. The cop said it was no one’s fault, but I then had an accident on my record for 3 years, and my insurance shot up like $50 a month! So make sure you do this right.

Recently, I’ve talked about how I got in a small fender bender and went through the insurance claims process. Let me tell you, besides having to ask them twice to send me a check, I think the process is awesome, and completely set up to throw cash at the victim. GOOD THING I WAS THE VICTIM! So, a lady pulled out in front of me, and I ended up smashing my bumper into her wheel. She had no damage, everyone was ok, but my headlight cover exploded and my bumper was dinged pretty bad. The key here is that my car was still legally drivable. She sent me to her insurance claims department and they got all my info.

I went to two different auto-rebuild shops to get a quote, and got to talking with the manager at one. He gave me some great insight into the insurance process. Basically, my car is so cheap already that they might have to total the car. If my car was totaled, they would take it away and cut me a check for the value of it. If I wanted to keep it, I would have to buy it back at the “damaged appraised value”, so like $500 or whatever. I would then have a branded title and the car would be much harder to re-sell later, plus I’d be out $500 dollars of that sweet insurance money.

He told me to instead let the insurance company know that I would like to proceed with the “cash-out” option. WHOA! No one at the insurance company told me about this. Apparently, it’s like that room in the movie National Treasure (amazing movie, Nicolas Cage can do no wrong) that’s filled with endless riches, and you just need to figure out the clues to get there. Or, in this case, just say “I’d like to proceed with the cash out option.”

So I called up the insurance agency, quoted those exact words, and it’s like I flipped the switched in their robotic auto-response system, and they were all friendly-like “of course, Mr. iHB. We’ll send out our appraiser to get the total damage. Oh no, don’t worry, he’ll come to you, at your work even. And guess what, your car isn’t totaled, you get the full value of the appraised damage in cash money (tax free, btw), and you get to keep your vehicle. Anything else we can do for you? Would you like a mojito?” It was like magic. Insurance appraiser came out like 2 days later, appraised the crap out of my car, and a check was at my house within another week. WHAT?! Have I found the golden egg? Most likely.

Note: Never mind the fact that whoever cut the check at the insurance company must have failed 2nd grade because he “accidently” left a number off the check. I mean, if he got one of the numbers wrong, I can understand, BUT HOW DO YOU JUST LEAVE A NUMBER OFF?! And just so you know, leaving just one number off a check brings it down from the thousands to the hundreds. So I had to call them and have them send me the difference (like, over $1,300!). And, of course, knowing my luck with bills and such, it was lost in the mail. So they’ve sent another check in the mail and it SHOULD be here at the end of the week….

Note 2: For those of you who don’t get sarcasm, this entire post is dripping with it. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not think that getting in car accidents on purpose is a way to make money, it is absolutely not. Actually, there’s a nice little name for that; FRAUD. My first accident was very unfortunate, and I literally have a tough time holding my son for an extended period of time. Accidents are absolutely horrible, and insurance companies are there in case the worst happens. My second accident followed the legal process, and I just wanted to inform my readers of how to get the best deal if you don’t want to repair the vehicle, but you are entitled to compensation for the damages. My car is now worth almost nothing due to the damages, but since I’m still driving it, I decided to go with the cash out option. This option is not the best choice for everyone, please evaluate every accident individually.

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Comments

  1. Making sure it’s not your fault is key here. Also, while you do want to get hurt, you don’t want to get hurt so bad that you are permanently disfigured or disabled. And it is possible to negotiate the insurance deal yourself, which saves you 30% of the settlement:)
    Greg@ClubThrifty recently posted..Do’s and Don’ts For Saving on TravelMy Profile

  2. OOOH and if you are hit while walking across a exit to a parking lot (but are on the sidewalk and made sure that nothing was coming until the lady decided she wanted to speed from the drive thru window out to the road without looking at the pedestrain because she’s talking on her phone and looking into her bag of food) make sure that you aren’t in shock and actually get her licence number. Even if she thinks you are okay because you are in shock and just want a second to catch your breath–when the aches start later, you’ll want that information.
    bogofdebt recently posted..MY Pack Rat Tendencies Are Saving Me MoneyMy Profile

  3. I’ve been in a ton of accidents. Some of them I was hurt really bad, and I made the mistake of telling the police and EMTs every time that I was alright. I still regret doing that as I had to pay out of pocket for everything, but at the moment of every accident, I just wanted to go home. I HATE bad drivers!
    Michelle recently posted..How to Make Money in CollegeMy Profile

    • That’s the thing, you just want to leave, but then you can’t profit!

      I always say that most people don’t even know they are driving, especially here in the Northwest. Too much Starbucks and text messaging. These people should be shipped to an island somewhere..

  4. A friend recently had a house fire (while she was at our house having tea, no less). Fast forward: they’re getting everything replaced and will end up with a new house in effect. Not the lottery, but very, very close.

    In their case neighbors’ kids played with fire, so it wasn’t their fault. The trick with this, of course, is getting your neighbors’ kids to play with fire when the wind is just right, and having the firefighters put out the fire after everything is destroyed, but all still identifiable. Which means you don’t need to provide them with an inventory.

    Speaking of which when WAS the last time you did a photo inventory of the contents of your home? :)

  5. The sad part is that there are people out there who do purposely get into accidents for the insurance money. Just the other day I jokingly said how I could’ve rammed a car that cut me off turning left in an intersection. It sure would solve the problem of overspending on a car. I guess I’m too honest to pull that though and I didn’t really want long term damage to my back.
    Modest Money recently posted..Guilt Induced FrugalityMy Profile

  6. I enjoy a good sarcastic post every now and then. My girlfriend and i joke every now and then that if she got bumped by a car she could sue and pay her loans off. Despite joking we both know we would never want it to happen and that the money you would get wouldn’t he worth how it will change your life forever.
    Lance@MoneyLife&More recently posted..What the One Percent Buy at Disney WorldMy Profile

  7. I get the sarcasm, I guess it just hits a sore spot. I mean that literally since I still have back issues over a year and a half after some old lady rear ended me. It’s ridiculous.
    My benefits through my insurer are now exhausted, so it’s up to the lawyers. =(.
    Sorry for the Debbie downer reaction to a great post – I just got not so awesome news on my MRi result yesterday and am bitter about it.
    Mrs PoP recently posted..How We Bought A $50K Duplex – Part 1My Profile

    • I am truly sorry for the pain you’ve had to endure due to a car accident. Honestly, I’m in a similar spot, as I have two metal plates and 8 screws in my neck from riding with a friend who flipped his car. As I noted at the bottom, sometimes it’s even difficult to hold my son for extended periods of time due to soreness. I do hope they can work out something to help relieve the pain, and that the lawyers can help set you up for future medical expenses. I wrote today’s post out of personal experience and added a twist to it, but I do know that car accidents are life-changing, in a bad way :(

  8. My ex and I were in an accident last year and had a difficult time with the insurance company. We were rear ended while stopped at a red light so the fault was clear. They paid the car damages, but wouldn’t pay the medical bills. That issue still hasn’t been resolved and is slowly making its way through the legal process.
    Andy Hough recently posted..How to Get Free Books for Your EreaderMy Profile

  9. This of course assumes the other drive has car insurance. I was rear ended by a 2.5 ton flatbed truck while sitting at a stop light. Basically it folded my car in half (I have lovely pictures of it). The guy owned 9 vehicles and the one he hit me with was the only one he didn’t have insured. Luckily I walked away with nothing but a very minor concussion. In the end, if it had been worse I would probably still be trying to get money out of this guy, because I’m pretty sure he didn’t have any.

    Also the sarcasm in this post really made me giggle in my cube to the point my co-workers are looking at me like I am insane.

    • Wow! That is intense! So glad you weren’t crushed in your car. PHEW!

      Bummer about the insurance! Did you insurance coverage take car of any medical bills/damages?

      And glad I could bring a laugh, about a very serious subject =)

      • I didn’t actually have any medical bills. I refused to take the ambulence since my first call was to my dad and he came out there to help fill out paper work. I went to a medcheck that night and they did the typical concussion stuff and since I had decent insurance I paid my co-pay and that was it!

        I did have medical coverage on my car insurance if I had needed it, but somehow I got really lucky and didn’t.

  10. Thankfully for me I’ve only been in 1 accident and it has been at least 10 years. My driving record is pretty clean and I’ve very wary when I’m on the road. It’s typically not your driving that’s the problem, it’s the wonderfully preoccupied people next to you.
    Jason @ WorkSaveLive recently posted..Recipe: Portabella Mushroom SandwichMy Profile

  11. Sadly, I am like your wife and only wreck into non-living, non-driving things like snowbanks, planter boxes, and poles that protect the drive through lane at the bank. Hard to sue a pole, but my insurance company did ask if there was any damage to the pole, so I was glad she was concerned. Another good tip is to be visibly pregnant. I had a friend who got rear-ended when she was 9 mos along. Everyone was fine but she got a settlement worth almost 10K (before lawyer cut). Then she rear ended someone and got sued herself. Not so fun that time. I have been mildy hurt in two accidents that were not my fault. I really should have gotten checked out medically. I sometimes have back problems now that are probably related. Compensation sometimes should be for future problems as well. I just didn’t know any better at the time.
    Kim@Eyesonthedollar recently posted..The Low Income Clinic ExperimentMy Profile

  12. You thought of me when writing this post! Thanks a lot! I never realized I was a car accident get rich metaphor! ha!
    Financial Samurai recently posted..Why Do Some People Consistently Spend More Than They Earn?My Profile

  13. First off – I love the sarcasm. I had to put a disclaimer in my most recent post too, haha. It’s hard to convey sarcasm over the internet. That being said, I’m glad you have finally gotten your fender bender under wraps!
    Best,
    Cat @ Budget Blonde
    Cat Alford recently posted..A Tale of Two Overdue Library BooksMy Profile

  14. I get the sarcasm completely, but there’s one huge problem: lawyers want to settle fast and you’re unlikely to get the full amount of that 100k. Love the style of your post though!
    Veronica @ Pelican on Money recently posted..A Healthier You, A Paid Vacation or $2892 Extra Cash in Your Pocket? You Choose.My Profile

  15. Been there done that. Well i was a passenger in the back of a pick-up. Catapulted out like a medevil weapon. I honestly can say it is easier to try and win the lottery. My injuries didn’t show up until later in life.
    Moe recently posted..Making Money Online For Kids, Get Them Started EarlyMy Profile

  16. From personal experience you need to hope they have insurance and are not flat broke :-)
    Sean @ One Smart Dollar recently posted..Investing in Growth FundsMy Profile

    • True, I was rear-ended once by a lady with no insurance, and my ins. company could not get a hold of her after that. Must have given a fake phone # or something.

      Luckily, I was driving a crap car at that point too! One more benefit of driving a crappy car, you don’t car about body damage as long as it’s still drive-able! :)

  17. This was a clever idea but certainly works as long as you’re not the negligent party who caused injuries. And nonetheless, make sure that your car is ensured in case it takes long to get the compensations you’re expecting.
    Amy recently posted..Bus Driver Claims He Fainted, Causing Bus to Hit another Vehicle in New York CityMy Profile

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  1. [...] Jacob from iHeartBudgets has another sarcastic filled post about the awesomeness of getting into a car accident.  [...]

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